| back with a vengeance. |
[May 9th, 1:05pm] |
well. i figured writing in this might get some shit off my chest
lately ive just felt like nothing was right...
for those of you that dont know, ivee been in paris for the past 2 months
and i have a little something to say about that.
i had somewhat of a mental breakdown, and in all honesty was about an inch from killing myself, which scared the shit of me (obviously)
so i realised i had to go, and was far too embarassed to tell anyone what was going on with my life. i just needed to sort my fucking life out.
and can we just say that, whenever MY friends need something or need a friend, or ANYTHING like that, i helo them out, or let them get some steam out. im pretty sure thats what friends do, unless ive been grossly misinformed.
what did my "friends" do?
called me a bitch, ignored me, or, acted like a complete fucking child.
and about the child, lets talk about her for a second. not naming any names of course.
when she lived by herself, i let her move into MY MOTHERS HOUSE, payed for EVERYTHING, lent her 700 dollars to break her lease, drove her around, let her take my car to her home state because her heating didnt work.
we moved in together, second month she went to visit her mother and didnt leave money for rent, leaving me with the entire rent to pay, obviously my cheque bounced, so i was charged $100 by my landlord, and then charged by my bank. did she even OFFER to pay me back, or even help out with the charges? no. of course not.
lets keep in mind she still owes me $600.
now. she never has any fucking money. so i pay for virtually everything, buy most groceries, payed for 2 bags of catfood, even though its her cat, because she left without buying catfood.
oh, i forgot to mention the time SHE DROVE MY CAR OVER A CURB DRUNK AND RIPPED OPEN THE TIRE
again, did she even OFFER to pay for the tire? no. of course not!
and i never even bothered to ask her about money! i figured i would wait until she had it and she would give it back to me
i even lied to one of my closest friends, saying she had paid me back, just so he would tattoo her.
yes, she wanted to get a sleeve before she paid me back
more lying, i lied to my parents saying she only owed me $200, even after all of this i havnt told them.
now. when we were in school together, she didnt know anyone in houston. so i took her to meet my "friends" who i thought were awesome, good people, and she needed friends. they took her into our group, and finally, she started dating my best friend. which i thought was good for both of them. well maybe it is, but its awful for me. because now that im gone shes completelt turned him against me, im sorry. i know you're getting laid, but we're supposed to be best friends. aparently that bitch of a girlfriend is more important to you than our friendship.
now, when i left, the first day i was gone i receieved an upset sounding voicemail from the roommate. i had left a note, explaining everything, AND had left another $500, my rent was only $425, leaving her extra money for bills, and the $600 she owed me to keep.
later on, i started getting hateful myspace messages from said "friend"
now, if your friend had a mental breakdown, wouldnt you try and comfort them? not try to hurt them more?
i felt bad at the time, which was even worse for my state, she just kept eating away at my confidence, digging me into this horrible hole.
now that ive talked to my parents and my REAL friends i realise that this girl is nothing but selfish. after all the help i gave her, she cant even stop thinking about herself to help someone else.
maybe someday her new friends will realise the real kind of person she is.
i tried to humble myself and say sorry to her but she continued to act like a child.
i guess theres some people that just dont give a shit.
phew. that felt good to get off my chest.
on the upside, ill be back in houston for my bb girl erins 22nd birthday
back in action bitches! :DDD
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aimeearsenic's journal
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